Rant: Misadventures in shopping

This is the Lolcat version of me:

It's true. I am a stereotype: I love shoes. I fight it because it is so lame but I am like the primo member of DSW. I don't even have a swipey key-chain thing, I have a special weird card that they sent me which elicits a hush from the usually mouthy clerks. It's bad. On my birthday, they shut down a major urban location just for me. I may not have clothes or pants, but I always have shoes.

So, imagine my dismay when yesterday I bought a pair of awesome designer snakeskin (faux- I am a partial vegan, doncha know?) flats which were actually functional, and took them home to discover they were BOTH LEFT SHOES!! WTF?

Who do they have working there? Is this going to have to be a reprise of the time my Dad called ABC liquor in Florida after having a less than stellar experience. On account of my Dad's amazing customer loyalty (read: drinking a shit-ton of wine), the CEO of ABC liquors called him back personally and apologized.

Let's not make this our reality DSW. Just hire people that know the difference between right and left feet and we'll be good.

Thanks.

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i just want to conquer people and their souls

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