i just want to conquer people and their souls

If you know about my fixation on karaoke , 90210 and Ray Pruit you will understand why this text exchange with my BFF BMoney is the best thing that ever happened. I think I have peaked.

In my last post I waxed amorous about the King of all seasons: Summer. Things I enjoy about summer include (but are not limited to): - fireflies - reveling in becoming mahogany rather than sullenly accepting my usual skin tone - ending my work at the human processing factory for 67 glorious days that leads into... - my annual self-dubbed "Summer of Me" which essentially consists of me pretending I am Dickie Greenleaf from The Talented Mr. Ripley : * Now there's a man who knows how to mahoganize One thing I do not enjoy about summer is stinky pits. Which brings me to the latest in my seemingly neverending list of embarrassing life moments.  Recently, I made a pilgrimage "out west" (like Sal Paradise, or actually more like an unchaperoned Lennie) to Portland, Oregon. While in Rip City, I began to change and morph into a different, gentler Ronnie. Maybe it was the quinoa flakes I was eating for breakfast, or perhaps the hemp milk I was forced to douse the...

There are few people in this world that I would really, truly be starstruck by. I think we all know about my fangirl obsession with Roberts Blossom , but this young man could possibly be even higher on my list of "people I would like to share a McFlurry with". Ladies and gentlemen I am, of course, speaking about Ray Pruit of Beverly Hills 90210 fame. Behold, Ray Pruit in his Texas tuxedo*: * [after posting this entry, I was angrily accosted by more than one of my friends, who insisted this was, in fact, a "Canadian Tuxedo". After much diligent research I have found that they are both valid descriptors of Ray Pruit's glorious ensemble . I also found out about the "Guido Tuxedo" which is equally excellent] For the uninitiated (ie. rejects) who don't know, Ray Pruit ("one T. It's all my momma could afford") was a musician/carpenter who foolishly allowed himself to fall for Donna "helmet hair, franken-boobs" Martin. Donna...