i just want to conquer people and their souls

I nominate the kid at the far right of this glorious picture as our collective teenage id.  He/she embodies exactly how I felt whenever I was forced to interact with my family from the years 1992 - 1997. What are they? Cells? Leaves? And do I spy a gunt?   All of these photos come courtesy of my new favorite time suck . Here are just some of my favorites: Unlike the first photo, everyone here seems pretty stoked to be involved: You don't need real children to have an amazing family photo: This one's for the Manimal; this is his dream family. I hope one day he reaches the lofty style heights of Pops in the middle. I like everything about this photo: If I ever need to announce my impending motherhood, I think these two have the right idea: And finally, my absolute favorite. I think this will be our next Christmas card:

As you know, readers, I have very specific tastes when it comes to other living things. In terms of the ocean, I pretty much hate everything in it. If Napalm worked underwater I would have destroyed every living thing there already. Don't agree? Let me run through a few of my Neptunian nightmares. First: How we have let these things live is beyond me. If I were in charge, we'd be eating shark fin soup for breakfast, lunch and dinner until these jerks were extinct. Prisons, schools and hospitals would be serving shark sloppy joes with a side of shark fries every.single.day until they were gone. Next: The giant squid: a complete asshole. My hatred also extends to the colossal squid (who is, understandably, camera-shy). If you are not terrified of these creatures, there is something wrong with you. Maybe this information will help to change your mind: " Unlike the giant squid, whose arms and tentacles only have suckers lined with small teeth, the Colossal Squid's limbs ar...

  Happy 6th Anniversary to the Manimal and I.  Contraria contrariis curantur

A warm welcome to all of you, my fellow denizens of the interwebs. Finally I, Veronica Montebellucci, have decided to grace the blogosphere with my very own brand of logorrhoean stylings. What prompted this pin-dive in to infamy, you ask? Well, it came upon me as I made the customary soul-destroying trip to my place of employ. As the New York City Mass Transit System transported me, Boruta-style, to my "job" (more about this later) I steadied my game face which looks a little something like this: Peering out in to a myriad of word-searchers and mouth-breathers, my gaze locked on to a young couple entwined. These two have successfully ruined my commute with their doe-eyed "no, i love you more" murmurs for three days now. THREE M-Fing DAYS!! (For you non-New Yorkers, seeing someone on the subway more than once makes one deeply paranoid. I was about to bust out my best Jason Bourne moves if they tried anything funny). At that moment, as I choked down the bile risin...