i just want to conquer people and their souls

Who doesn't like Christmas? Oh, right, quite a few people. I am one of the world's most secular individuals. It is now family lore that when I was on  Double Dare (I know! So awesome!) in 1992 I answered "A band" in response to the question: "What is Genesis?" But I still love the birth of baby Jesus, nonetheless. If you know of another holiday which begins a full two months before the actual date of said holiday and expects, nay  demands , that you drink egg nog (alcoholic heavy cream!), open gifts, and then pass out on the sofa after ingesting a year's worth of carbohydrates then you may protest. Otherwise, maybe you should just get down with the 'nog and zip your pie hole. A friggen  egg nog fountain ! I want to go to there. Things that are awesome about Christmas: - Advent calendars. - The fact that the Manimal, JoSi and I try to go to  Rolf's  and eat an entire suckling pig every year. - Going on a Lohan holiday -...

Happy New Year, y'all! What's damp, grey and perpetually drunk? No, not my gran - it's England! The Manimal and I were fortunate enough to celebrate the nuevo ano across the pond and found it to be delightful. We laid waste to this fine land (attached to a finer land ) and, of course, are back with a bevvy of travel tips for all of you Anglophiles. First up: a quick tangent. To get to England I had the pleasure of traveling with what some people bafflingly consider to be the scourge of the skies: Delta "airlines". What I imagined to be a quick hop, skip and jump from NYC to Detroit (?) to Paris ended up being somewhat of a Kafkaesque adventure filled with rage, anarchy, and a Best Western. It all began as I was ensconced in the plane's cabin. Thank goodness I had requested to be seated behind a drunk lady and across from a man clad in triple stripes who had stripped down to bare feet already. "Good for you, sir!" I thought to myself, ...