As a passive-aggressve Antipodean, one of the things which makes me most happy is order, politeness and knowing the goddamn system . When any, or all, of these elements goes awry I start to climb my mental clocktower and silently begin going postal. Of course, to the average troglodyte bystander, it would appear as though I am carefree, content and happily observing the hustle and bustle of everyday life. No, in reality I am disemboweling you and your future progeny in my mind. Allow me a little self indulgence as I outline my highly- structured morning routine. It is sacred. It cannot be messed with. I know it as precisely as John Patrick Mason knows the fire breathing mechanism's timing to enter The Rock. In fact, anyone lucky enough to witness the phenomenon which is my morning routine would be my own personal Stanley Goodspeed. I set my alarm to unleash its ungodly wail a full hour before I am to awake. Then, I proceed to slap at the snooze function like an ill-mannered ranga...