i just want to conquer people and their souls

Readers, is there anything better than karaoke? Exposing your id for all to see and trilling theatrically like a modern day Aoide for your adoring audience? I have never felt emotions of the intensity I did when performing an impromptu, yet sultry, rendition of Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You with Fanny Ong, a Chinese DJ (and budding pyramid schemer) who had clearly been awed by my prior performances. I take my karaoke very seriously.  I am not a gifted singer but dammit if I don't give it my all. And really, that is the most crucial part of karaoke. As Mae West herself said, "An ounce of performance is worth a pound of promises" (I don't think she was talking about karaoke, but still). And so, dear readers, I wish to pass on to you my karaoke wisdom which has been accumulated through years of trial and error. I've experienced the highest highs where one feels like Gaia giving birth to the sky, and the lowest lows when you relate more to Gerri Halliwell whe...

Hello readers! How would you describe your commute to work this morning? Were you trapped in your car, being subjected to some early morning traffic? Did the radio not play what you wanted it to? Did someone cut you off? Was your commute mildly unpleasant, the transportation equivalent of a melon-heavy fruit salad? Guess what I did? * Note that I simply chose this morning's subway incident. The subway is like the lottery: some days could hold the elation of escaping into the armpit of a tall businessman, other days one may experience the sweet terror of being trapped in the car with an actual crazy person. The NYC subway commute is life's version of craps, except you always roll "Snake Eyes" and never a Boxcar. If you are a loyal reader reader (ha!) you will be familiar with my morning commute ; it is a science, nay, a religion. Getting out of the door is only half the battle, my friends. Next comes Satan's Playground, otherwise known as the New York City M...