i just want to conquer people and their souls

I nominate the kid at the far right of this glorious picture as our collective teenage id.  He/she embodies exactly how I felt whenever I was forced to interact with my family from the years 1992 - 1997. What are they? Cells? Leaves? And do I spy a gunt?   All of these photos come courtesy of my new favorite time suck . Here are just some of my favorites: Unlike the first photo, everyone here seems pretty stoked to be involved: You don't need real children to have an amazing family photo: This one's for the Manimal; this is his dream family. I hope one day he reaches the lofty style heights of Pops in the middle. I like everything about this photo: If I ever need to announce my impending motherhood, I think these two have the right idea: And finally, my absolute favorite. I think this will be our next Christmas card:

When I first began this blog, I mentioned how under my stoic antipodean exterior lies a ball of sentimental goo waiting to be prodded. While I may not reveal my true emotions very often, there are some things that get me every time, namely in the form of cheesy movie scenes. When I had the inspiration for this post, we were in the midst of the Winter Olympics. Ergo, the instance of "stuff that will make me misty" was at code orange. In fact, it was this very commercial which galvanized me into writing: What?? Are you serious? His daughter... Jane . That. is. too.much. Morgan Freeman, you should hang your head, sir. Using that voice for such shameless tear-jerking. Go World, indeed. Go to Hell World, for using a man's personal tragedy to sell me a Visa card is more like it. More often than not, scenes which make me teary have one of the following elements: a slow clap, the Olympics, an underdog, a family reunion or a parent being proud of their child. Take away from that...

Although some condom ads make you misty , and others make you scared, there are very few that make you want to get up and shake your junk. Sometimes, the only way to encourage the use of prophylactics is with a good old fashioned Bollywood song and dance routine. What do we get in the U!S!A!? A buch of wack-ass penguins telling us to stay in school. This PSA just makes me want to go and get my hands on some Bob Hope and drop out.

Readers, have you ever had times in your life when serendipitous events collude to make you feel as though the world is trying to tell you something? Some people see Jesus in a Cheeto (Cheesus: the Savory Saviour): I, however, have been seeing cats acting all shady-like. Cats acting like dogs. Cats acting like people. Cats acting like hats. It' s beginning to freak me out. Am I like a modern day Joan d'Arc? Put here on Earth to lead a cat army to righteous victory? Or, am I a crazy kook living in her own personal Shutter Island ? I am inclined to think it may be the latter as the situation has been getting worse lately, and also because I don't think cats have the cojones to take on dogs just yet (no offense cats, it just seems like if push came to shove, you wouldn't work as a team. Every one of you I've ever met has been a selfish git, really). It all started a few months ago, when I was in DC for Thanksgiving. One morning our gracious hosts suggested we...

Since beginning this blog, I have spent more time on the interwebs than I did before. People, there is some scary stuff out there. Now, I'm not talking about Coco's ass , or that Killer Whale that ate its trainer, I'm talking about the stuff you don't hear about on the news. There are things out there, that exist for reals and no-one seems to think they are a big deal. Believe you me, if I were Rupert Murdoch, or any other media tycoon, the following things would be front page news. 1. Korean Baby Mice Wine. Now I'm not one of those namby pambys who doesn't eat stuff that's "gross". No sir, I eat just about everything. I won't run through the list, but I have eaten a sparrow so I think that says everything you need to know. The same goes for booze. I don't hate on many types of liquor. Beginning with my first experience drinking a vile mix of gin, whiskey and manischewitz at a friends house circa 1994, to imbibing my step-father...

  Happy 6th Anniversary to the Manimal and I.  Contraria contrariis curantur

Hey guys! In less than 8 hours I'll be on winter vacation for one sweet week. You know what that means....