i just want to conquer people and their souls

Readers, is there anything better than karaoke? Exposing your id for all to see and trilling theatrically like a modern day Aoide for your adoring audience? I have never felt emotions of the intensity I did when performing an impromptu, yet sultry, rendition of Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You with Fanny Ong, a Chinese DJ (and budding pyramid schemer) who had clearly been awed by my prior performances. I take my karaoke very seriously.  I am not a gifted singer but dammit if I don't give it my all. And really, that is the most crucial part of karaoke. As Mae West herself said, "An ounce of performance is worth a pound of promises" (I don't think she was talking about karaoke, but still). And so, dear readers, I wish to pass on to you my karaoke wisdom which has been accumulated through years of trial and error. I've experienced the highest highs where one feels like Gaia giving birth to the sky, and the lowest lows when you relate more to Gerri Halliwell whe...

My wife has shouted me out on her fabulous blog which has the bonus of being both blessedly gunt and ranga-free, and much better written. For those of you who live in a cabin in the woods, one's "wife" or "wifey" is, in the parlance of today's youth, simply one's close female friend. Clearly, I have a husband (the venerable Manimal ) for home. Anyhoo, my wife makes life bearable for me on the regular, and for that I salute her. In her own post , my wife likened our relationship to that of Mickey Dolenz and Mike Nesmith of The Monkees fame. I could get on board with this, if my mother had not harbored a wicked Davy Jones crush which effectively rendered me unable to look at them without an involuntary shudder. I, being far more predictable and low-brow, (wow, that's probably the first time The Monkeys have been considered high-brow) will offer my own virtual sketch of our bond. This picture represents us quite well. Always getting up to misc...