Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Rave: Beard Terror Watch

I like a beard on a man.

I am also a big supporter of the burgeoning Menaissance movement, and its resulting "retrosexuals", because it tends to squick me out when men spend too much time on personal grooming.

However, that being said, some beards are cause for concern. Like the "molester beard":

Or the equally sketchy "Youth Minister Beard":

And, of course the age-old adage "never trust a man with a soul patch" is one of my Montebellucci cardinal rules of thumb. Thank you to rapper "Pitbull" for modeling exactly what I speak of:

But how is one to tell a good, friendly beard from a sinister one? Easy! I found this handy guide which outlines everything you need to know about beards, and the men who sport them.

You're welcome.

(click to make it bigger)


1 comment:

  1. That thing on Apolo Ohno's face made it hard for me to root for him at the Olympics. Plus he spells Apollo with one l. Fuck that.