Sunday, March 7, 2010

Rant: Vewwy Scewwy

Since beginning this blog, I have spent more time on the interwebs than I did before. People, there is some scary stuff out there. Now, I'm not talking about Coco's ass, or that Killer Whale that ate its trainer, I'm talking about the stuff you don't hear about on the news.

There are things out there, that exist for reals and no-one seems to think they are a big deal. Believe you me, if I were Rupert Murdoch, or any other media tycoon, the following things would be front page news.

1. Korean Baby Mice Wine.
Now I'm not one of those namby pambys who doesn't eat stuff that's "gross". No sir, I eat just about everything. I won't run through the list, but I have eaten a sparrow so I think that says everything you need to know.

The same goes for booze. I don't hate on many types of liquor. Beginning with my first experience drinking a vile mix of gin, whiskey and manischewitz at a friends house circa 1994, to imbibing my step-father's homemade Honey Mead, I don't discriminate.

However, everyone has their line in the sand, past which they will not go.  My line is Korean Baby Mice Wine.





Next up, natural disasters. Aside from the fact that Mother Nature seems to pissed about something recently, natural phenomena tends to be pretty predictable. You've got your run of the mill earthquakes, tsunamis, landslides and, of course, volcanos.

But, readers, I bet you don't even know that my next terrifying discovery even exists. When I saw it for the first time I seriously considered moving to a bunker underground and only coming out for Lost.

I present:

2. Fire Tornadoes


Mummy, Daddy Help!!
This looks like it was sent from hell to destroy us all, kind of like a firey Terminator II.

And finally, the most terrifying of all:

3. Standing Up Anteaters

What.the.hell.


This is the stuff of nightmares.

2 comments:

  1. That Korean shit doesn't surprise me for one minute. They sell silk worm larva on the streets of Seoul. Little kids love it. It is not good.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Google "Casu Marzu"; it's the only cheese in the world which requires eye protection while eating.
    Yum.

    ReplyDelete