Sunday, February 21, 2010

Rave: Gunts (NSFW)

This post is dedicated to my newest follower, the distinguished and mighty Gunt Hunter.

www.guntpatrol.com defines a gunt as:
"A protruding sack of fat which extends from the lower abdomen to the upper genital area."

Ah, the Gunt (or it's male equivalent, the genis), this inspiring anatomical phenomenon is the Australian cousin of the FUPA.

Just like how Brits call pants "trousers", Aussies have christened this condition with a far more charming alias. FUPA just sounds like some sort of sporting league, while gunt perfectly describes the exact two body parts which have fused together.

Gunts are like the Benetton of corporeal appendages: they don't discriminate. There are gunts of every color, creed, shape and size - whatever tickles your fancy, really.
Click below to see some glorious gunts. Achtung! Some are very not work place friendly.


You have your traditional, "classic" gunt (or maybe a genis, I can't tell). Look at the perfect form of this beauty:












There is also the "perky" gunt. This capri-clad version has a little zip to it; it leads the way and seems to announce, "Hey world! Look out, I got places to be!"

But, we can't all have the above form of the front bum. It takes trainers and a regimented diet to defy gravity like that. I heard she's had work done.

It's kind of irresponsible of me to laud one gunt over the others. I wouldn't want you to think that I am guntist; I show love to gunts of all persuasions. To prove it, here is the opposite of "Ms. Hollywood" above:

This is like the "natural gunt"; she's just letting it fly, just L.i.v.i.n', man.

Remember gunts aren't just for humans. Behold, the monkey gunt:


Ease up on the bananas dude.

There's no need to fear the gunt; gunts are attainable. In fact, all one needs to have a bangin' gunt is to put some work into it. For example:

This widow-maker is the Meatini, which is described as, "A full English fried breakfast served in a cocktail glass made out of bacon."

That ought to do it.

Eat till your innie turns into an outie.

But remember, whatever you do, keep track of your gunt at all times lest it tries to escape.



Naughty gunt!

P.s. Please excuse this descent in to vulgarity!

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